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Journey into Growth and Transformation

Acceptance – a shift maker…

Written byAgata Sliwowski

April 30, 2020

Life changing experiences usually inspire some kind of change. We get a wake-up call and after a moment of shock we take on a life of a baby explorer who puts a first step into the world and then slowly learns how to walk through a jungle of new circumstances and quite a new reality. In situations like that, people frequently reevaluate their whole lives.

All of a sudden, all that was familiar and habitual goes under scrutiny. Mental models, programs, belief systems, are questioned, and more often than not, revised or simply rejected in their totality. People under such circumstances become fearless and ready to do whatever it takes in order to survive the chaos and whatever challenges they face. 

The process of change usually begins with an explosion. This is when things happen very fast. The event results in a shock, a surprise and a disbelief which in most cases transform into some sort of denial and then anger. Before we reach a moment of peace and acceptance of whatever life threw at us, we struggle and suffer. We are like caged animals, lost and terrified but also ready to attack when necessary. 

For some of us this phase never ends. We attack, we fight, but frequently a fight like that deprives us of all energy while anger blinds us successfully. Defeat, in such instances, is only a matter of time. But wait a minute… There is a remedy to that situation!

When we make an effort and cross the river of anger, we reach a peaceful and quiet space. This is a place of acceptance. We can only reach this place when we consciously make a decision to give up all the fighting and accept the status quo, the life as it is. Pure and humble acceptance with no terms and conditions attached. No exceptions. Just acceptance. 

Now, how to accept a betrayal, a death of a loved one or a diagnosis of cancer? I know. It sounds equally abstract and undoable. Yet it is neither. In fact, it is both realistic and doable and is done in the same way all the ferocious and exhausting fighting is done. It comes from a choice. A choice to see and face what life delivered on a plate. A choice to approach the circumstances calmly. A choice to accept the challenge and own it. Whatever the situation is, by embracing it, by taking ownership, by accepting it completely, we cross the invisible line between the chaos and horrors of change on one end and the field of creative potential on the other. Here, we become focused and inspired. We tap into our creative side and come up with solutions, helpful explanations, plans, strategies, and everything and anything that can be useful and help us understand what meaning this particular event brings into our life. Without acceptance we will never be able to move forward and leave the situation fully behind. And so the life changing event will never serve its purpose.

Acceptance is a moment of shift. It brings a total change in perspective and takes you to a place of empowerment. From here, you can create solutions and more often than not, those solutions perfectly address the situation you are in. Acceptance simply puts a new light on your case. All of a sudden, you realize that it is not about the war, the fight, the denial as much as it is about allowing for the things and life to happen. Whatever your life offers can be a curse or a gift. The choice is yours. You are the ultimate master of the meaning you assign to everything in your life. To be able to do that though, you have to make peace with what is. Only then, your options become unlimited. And this is where your new chapter usually begins, and you become a true creator of your life. From what I know, there is no better experience than that.

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